The Knitting Diaries Read online

  April leaned close to Ellen. “What’s beloved mean?” she asked.

  “You can’t ask questions during the wedding,” Ellen told her friend.

  “Okay. Sorry.” But April didn’t sound contrite.

  Anne Marie quickly whispered the definition as Ellen frowned.

  The ceremony took only a few minutes and by the time they’d finished Anne Marie and Tim both found themselves grinning. Ellen’s performance—complete with sweeping gestures—was worthy of an acting award. Anne Marie had gradually relaxed enough to enjoy the charade.

  The only person who didn’t appear the least bit entertained was Mel. He stood out in the hallway, wearing a frown.

  Shortly after the “vows” were exchanged, Tim kissed Anne Marie on the cheek, then pulled out his wallet.

  “What’s the money for?” Ellen asked when he removed a dollar bill.

  “The groom always pays the preacher.”

  Ellen raised her hand to stop him. “Give the money to the poor.”

  “I’m poor,” April said, and held out her palm.

  “No, you aren’t,” Ellen retorted. “Wedding planners make lots of money.”

  “I guess you should put your money away,” Anne Marie said with a shrug.

  Grinning, Tim did as she suggested. When he glanced up he apparently caught sight of Mel. “I’d better go.” He bent down to hug Ellen farewell.

  “You need to thank your father,” Anne Marie said.

  Ellen wrapped her arms around Tim’s neck. “Thank you again for fixing my bike and for being the groom and for everything,” she said in a breathless voice.

  “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

  “Can we go bike riding again soon?”

  “Sure. I’ll set a time with your mother.”

  When Anne Marie escorted him to the front door, Tim held her look for a moment, then raised his eyes to meet Mel’s, who stood directly behind her. “Does next Saturday work for you? I can pick Ellen up around ten.”

  “We have plans for Saturday,” Mel inserted without allowing Anne Marie the opportunity to respond.

  She ignored him. “Saturday morning will be fine, Tim. I’ll have Ellen ready by ten.”

  His expression uncertain, Tim nodded. “Okay. See you then.”

  “Bye,” she said, closing the door. Neither man had addressed the other again. She took a deep breath to compose herself, then turned deliberately to Mel. “What was that about?” she snapped.

  Mel didn’t pretend not to know what she meant. “I’ve told you. I don’t like the idea of Tim spending so much time with you and Ellen. Besides, we did discuss going for brunch.”

  She was in no state to deal with his insecurities and frankly she was a little unsettled by the make-believe wedding. “I think you might be making an assumption regarding our relationship, Mel. We’re good friends—”

  “Friends?” he repeated, breaking in. “We’ve been dating exclusively for the past six months. Correction, I’ve been dating you exclusively. And yet Tim is still in your life.”

  “Ellen’s his daughter!”

  “That doesn’t mean you have to be involved with him.”

  Anne Marie expelled her breath and walked into the kitchen. They had to lower their voices, otherwise the girls might hear. “I don’t want to argue about Tim.”

  “I don’t either, but I need to find out where I stand with you. Just tell me flat-out—am I wasting my time here? I know you cared about Tim at one point.”

  “That’s over,” she said immediately. “I told you before.”

  “Is it, Anne Marie?”

  “Yes…” But she didn’t sound nearly as emphatic as she wanted to.

  “I think that tells me everything I need to know.”

  Anne Marie felt terrible.

  Calling goodbye to the girls, Mel started toward the front door. She stopped him. “Don’t go,” she whispered, her hand on his forearm.

  He hesitated.

  “Please.”

  Mel exhaled slowly as though undecided.

  Anne Marie slid her arms around his middle and hugged him close. Mel was solid and warm, and she knew exactly where she stood with him. Tim was like shifting sand, not to be trusted. Eventually her heart would align itself with Mel’s.

  Seven

  April 27

  I’ve made a decision. I’m going to ignore my feelings for Tim and concentrate on Mel. Once I do that, my heart will follow. Ever since last Saturday I’ve been miserable. Well, no more. I refuse to get emotionally involved with Tim again. He’s good for Ellen and she loves him. I can’t and won’t keep him away from his daughter. However, I think Mel might be right. We need to establish a parenting plan. We need an agreement between us. Now that I’ve settled that in my own mind, I want to start a new knitting project. I’d like to make something for Courtney’s wedding. I’m sure Lydia will have a few ideas.

  Wednesday afternoon Tim phoned Anne Marie at the bookstore. “I hope I didn’t cause a problem between you and Mel when I came by the other night,” he said.

  “Why would that be a problem?” she asked, unwilling to mention her argument with Mel. “It wasn’t a big deal, and Ellen loved the fact that you went along with her wedding-planner fantasy.”

  “I’ve often wondered what it would be like to be married. I just never expected to have a dog as my best man.”

  Despite herself Anne Marie laughed. “As I recall, he fell asleep during the ceremony. Some best man he turned out to be.”

  “You don’t have any room to talk. Your maid of honor wouldn’t come out from under the bed.”

  “True.”

  After a brief silence, Tim said, “Is Ellen there?”

  “She met up with Casey Goetz after school, but she’s due at the bookstore soon. Any particular reason you’re asking?”

  “Would you mind if I took her to Lake Wisdom? My parents recently bought a cabin there, and since it’s such a sunny afternoon, I thought she might enjoy a boat ride.”

  The weather was unseasonably warm for April, and Anne Marie knew Ellen would love an outing like that. “I’m sure she’d be thrilled.” They discussed the fact that Ellen would need a life vest if she went out on the water, then chatted amicably for a few more minutes.

  “I’ll pick her up at the store in half an hour.”

  “Okay.”

  Anne Marie glanced at her watch; it was now three-thirty.

  As usual, Tim arrived precisely when he’d said he would. He had on jeans and a light jacket and wore a Mariners baseball cap. It was hard not to stare, to appreciate how handsome he was, but Anne Marie resisted.

  “You ready, Ellen?” he asked.

  She bounced off her chair, slammed her book shut and nodded. “Can Mom come, too?”

  “I wish she would,” Tim said.

  Anne Marie automatically shook her head. “I’d like to, but I need to be here.”

  Teresa, who worked with her, was quick to weigh in with her opinion. Too quick. “We’ve had a slow afternoon.” She looked at Tim and explained, “It’s generally slow the first sunny day of spring. Besides,” she added, turning to Anne Marie, “I thought you were supposed to take Wednesdays off.” Anne Marie tried to give herself a midweek break but she’d gotten out of the habit.

  “You’d be welcome,” Tim said, encouraging her.

  “Please come, Mom.” Ellen folded her hands in a prayerful gesture. “You always have to work. I want you to go to the lake with us.”

  Anne Marie wanted to enjoy the sunshine, too, but she hesitated. She hadn’t talked to Mel since Monday night, and while they’d parted on good terms they’d each felt unsettled by their disagreement. If he were to learn she’d gone to the lake with Tim, he’d be justifiably upset.

  Tim opened his eyes wide and folded his hands like Ellen’s. With both of them gazing at her in supplication, she couldn’t refuse. Her one hope was that Mel wouldn’t find out about this. “Oh, all right,” she said, giving in.

  Ellen
hooted and jumped up and down, clapping.

  “I’ll have to stop at the house and change clothes,” Anne Marie told them. “I can’t very well go out on the water wearing this.” She motioned at her white pants and pink jacket.

  “We have time,” Tim said with a boyish grin.

  Once she’d driven home, changed her clothes and packed a few things for Ellen, it was close to four-thirty. “I need to be back before seven,” she said as she slid into the front seat next to Tim. That wasn’t strictly true, but she had an evening of paperwork planned. And imposing a time limit gave her at least the illusion of control.

  “You will be,” he promised as he started the engine.

  The drive to the lake took another thirty minutes. He turned off the main road to a secluded one, then eventually drove down a dirt track that led to the water’s edge. A rustic log cabin was nestled among tall fir trees. She saw two wooden rockers on the front porch; they looked comfortably worn, as though many conversations had taken place there over the years, many sunsets watched. The pristine lake was glass-smooth with the sun reflecting on the surface of the water, which was a deep greenish blue. Another cabin could be seen on the other side.

  “Oh, Tim, this is lovely,” Anne Marie said. “It’s so peaceful.”

  “Mom and Dad have wanted a summer place like this for years and they finally found exactly what they were looking for.”

  “Can we go out in the boat now?” Ellen asked. After strapping on her vest, she raced down to the dock.

  “Wait for us,” Anne Marie called.

  A boat ride had sounded like a simple thing when Tim first mentioned it. Anne Marie couldn’t remember the last time she’d been in one—or one that small, anyway. Tied to the dock, the rowboat bobbed gently on the lake. Anne Marie wasn’t sure how she was supposed to climb in and out.

  “I’ll help you,” Tim said, as though reading her mind. “You have nothing to fear—I was a Cub Scout.”

  “Not a Boy Scout?”

  “No, I didn’t pass the test.”

  “Oh, great.”

  He chuckled. “I’m a natural on the water. I’ve been doing this for years.”

  “So you say.”

  “It’s all right, Mom,” Ellen said, clasping Anne Marie’s hand. “I can swim—I’ll save you.”

  Tim got in first, then helped Ellen lower herself into the boat. Anne Marie went last. She sat on the edge of the dock and gingerly eased herself in, sighing with relief once she was safely seated.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  “Yeah!” Ellen shouted. “Let’s go!”

  It soon became apparent that Tim was as comfortable on the water as he’d claimed. He rowed with regular, even strokes, and the boat seemed to glide effortlessly across the lake.

  “See that cabin over there?” he asked, pointing to the one Anne Marie had noticed earlier.

  “I see it,” Ellen told him, shading her eyes from the sun.

  “There’s a story about the people who used to live in these two cabins, ours and that one.”

  “Oh?” He had a twinkle in his eyes, and Anne Marie was convinced he was about to make up some wild tale.

  “Years ago, these cabins were owned by rival families. The Krugers and the Livermores.”

  “Krugers and Livermores?” Anne Marie repeated. “Like the Montagues and Capulets? Or the Hatfields and McCoys?”

  “Something like that.”

  “What’s rival mean?” Ellen asked

  “They competed with each other,” Tim explained.

  “Were they friends?”

  “Rivals can be friends, but in this case they weren’t.”

  “You mean like Mel and you?” She looked from Tim to Anne Marie.

  “Sort of,” Anne Marie said, saddened that her daughter was aware of the antagonism between Mel and her father.

  “If one family bought a boat, then the other family did, as well,” Tim went on as if he hadn’t heard Ellen’s last statement. “The two husbands were employed by rival companies, so when one family purchased a cabin on this side of the lake, the second family bought land and built a larger cabin on the other side.”

  “Is ours bigger?” Ellen asked.

  “We have the smaller house,” Tim said.

  “Oh.” Ellen seemed disappointed.

  “As it happened, both families had teenage children. The Krugers had a daughter named Dani and the Livermores had a son, Scott, who was the same age as Dani.”

  “I feel a romance brewing,” Anne Marie said.

  “You’re right.” Tim directed the comment to her. “Dani and Scott were both out on the water one afternoon when Dani’s canoe tipped over.”

  “This story isn’t going to have an unhappy ending, is it?” Anne Marie asked.

  “No way,” Tim said, pulling rhythmically on the oars. “This is a romance, remember?”

  “Mo-om, let Dad tell the story.”

  “Okay, okay, continue.” Anne Marie gestured toward Tim.

  “Seeing that Dani was in distress, Scott paddled over and rescued her.”

  “And the Kruger family was so grateful the rivalry ended,” Anne Marie concluded.

  “Nope. The Kruger family blamed Scott for causing Dani to fall out of the canoe.”

  “Didn’t Dani defend him?” Anne Marie asked.

  “She tried, but her family refused to listen. The Krugers disliked the Livermores so much that if there was any kind of mishap, the Livermores were automatically to blame.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” she muttered.

  “I agree.”

  Ellen patted Anne Marie’s knee. “Shh, I want to find out what happened.”

  “Would you like the short version or the long one?”

  “Short version,” Anne Marie insisted. “Definitely the short version.”

  “Okay,” Tim said. “They lived happily ever after.”

  “Who did?” Ellen demanded. “I want the long version ’cause I don’t know who married who.”

  Anne Marie groaned and glanced up at the sky. “Tim, honestly. All right, give us the long version.”

  “That night,” he began, “Dani snuck out of the house and got in the canoe and paddled over to Scott’s place. She woke him up and apologized for the way her family had reacted. They should’ve been grateful and they weren’t. Dani wanted him to know she appreciated what he’d done.”

  “Did she kiss him?” Ellen asked excitedly.

  “Not that night, but then they started meeting every night in the middle of the lake. They’d sit under the moonlight and talk.”

  “They did fall in love, though, right?”

  “It wouldn’t be a romance if they didn’t. Except neither of their families wanted them to be together.”

  “Did they get married?”

  “They did eventually—and guess what?”

  “What?” Ellen echoed.

  “The Krugers and the Livermores became the best of friends. Dani and Scott now have three children. Let me see.” Tim squinted into the distance. “I believe their oldest daughter is around your age.”

  “That is a romantic story,” Anne Marie said, mainly grateful that no one had drowned in the middle of the lake during a midnight tryst.

  They spent an hour on the water, the most pleasant, peaceful hour Anne Marie could remember in a long while.

  “I’d better get you back to shore if I’m going to have you home before seven,” he said. He sounded as reluctant as Anne Marie was to leave the tranquility of this special afternoon.

  “Oh, yeah—I should be back by seven.” Only she didn’t want to leave. The temptation to stay on the lake was almost overwhelming. The sun felt warm on her shoulders; she’d finally begun to relax. Ellen yawned and rested her head against Anne Marie’s leg. “Maybe we could stay a bit longer….”

  “You’re sure?” Tim asked, slipping the oar into the smooth water.

  Anne Marie nodded. Eyes closed, she raised her face to the sun, reveling in the warmth of
late afternoon. The birds chirped, the water rippled, and she could feel a light breeze on her face. She didn’t immediately realize they’d stopped moving. When she opened her eyes, she saw Tim sitting there motionless, both oars suspended above the water.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked.

  “No.”

  He sounded uncharacteristically serious, and she tried to lighten the situation—whatever it was—with humor.

  “Don’t tell me there’s a monster in this lake that’s going to come out of the water and swallow us whole.”

  “Not to my knowledge.”

  “Then what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” He set the oars in the water again and headed toward the cabin as if he were taking part in a race. Their speed was in stark contrast to the easy, tranquil quality of their earlier ride.

  Once they’d reached shore, Tim secured the boat and hopped onto the dock. He helped Ellen up and then Anne Marie. “It’s time I got you back,” he said curtly.

  Anne Marie had no idea what was going on. Taking her cue from him, she settled Ellen in the backseat while he stowed their belongings in the trunk. The inside of the car was warm and cozy, and Ellen closed her eyes, dozing off within minutes. Anne Marie got into the car; so did Tim. He braced his hands against the steering wheel.

  “Tim,” she whispered, not wanting to disturb Ellen. “What’s wrong?”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  She placed her hand on his knee, preventing him from starting the engine. “Actually, I do.”

  “Really?” He turned and looked at her, his eyes holding hers.

  Anne Marie wasn’t sure who moved first. But the next thing she knew, Tim had his arms around her and his lips were on hers.

  This wasn’t a soft exploratory kiss—it was hot and hungry, moist and openmouthed, as if they were intent on absorbing each other completely. The kiss went on and on until Anne Marie broke away, breathless.

  “Ellen,” she whispered for fear her daughter would wake and find them like this.

  “I tried to warn you…” Tim whispered back. His shoulders heaved and he clutched the steering wheel with both hands.

  Anne Marie leaned against the back of the seat and closed her eyes, making a determined effort to catch her breath. “Wow,” she gasped, hardly aware she’d spoken.