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  “She knows about Trish and the baby.”

  “That’s a perfect example.” He gestured with his hands, nearly spilling his beer. “Never told any other woman I was seeing about Trish, but Beth knows. She even knows Lucinda’s birthday, and it didn’t take much for me to spill out all that pain, either. I get around Beth and my emotional filter disappears.”

  “And watching Matthew is what drove you over the edge.”

  “Basically, yes.” He hated to admit it, but the bottom line was this: “I’m not the marrying kind, Rocco. You know that.”

  “Can’t say that I do.”

  Sam let out a bark of laughter. “You’re like one of those guys who gives up cigarettes after twenty years of smoking. All at once you become the poster child for not smoking and you’re talking to everyone about giving up their smokes.”

  “We talking about cigarettes now?”

  “No, we’re talking about falling in love. You love Nichole and all at once you see unicorns and rainbows for everyone else.”

  Laughing, Rocco snorted beer out of his nose. “Unicorns and rainbows?”

  “Yeah. That sh— ain’t for me.”

  “You owe Owen a dollar.”

  “Don’t, either. I stopped myself in time. More to the point, you’re so caught up in what you have with Nichole you think it’s for everyone and it’s not.”

  “I didn’t set you up with Beth. Nichole did.”

  “Okay, fine, but it’s the same thing. You’re both looking at life through rose-colored glasses. You expect everyone else to feel the same way about love as you do.”

  “That’s not such a bad thing, is it?”

  “It is for me,” Sam said and straightened. Talking to Rocco hadn’t given him any answers; he felt more confused than ever.

  “So how are you going to explain all this to Beth?” Rocco asked.

  If he knew that he wouldn’t have asked Rocco to meet him. This weighed heavy on his mind. “I’m not sure yet.”

  “If I’m hearing you correctly, you want her to date other men.”

  “Yes. Makes sense she should. Even if we were to get more serious, which I’m not willing to do at this point, I’d feel better if she had some experience under her belt. She sees me as this shining knight. No way can I continue to live up to her hero worship. She needs to date other men, get a taste of the world, before she ties herself to me.”

  Rocco nodded as if he understood. “You going to suggest that to her?”

  “I should, don’t you think?”

  “Well, yeah, but I’m wondering…”

  “What?” Sam demanded when his friend didn’t continue his thought.

  “You still want to continue to date her yourself, though, right?”

  Sam needed to think that through. Going cold turkey would be hard. Beth had become an important part of his day, of his life. Too important, which is what prompted this entire debate. She was the reason for his crappy mood all week. Well, not Beth personally, but the way he felt about her.

  “Yeah, I would like to continue seeing her.” He hesitated to use the word date. Sam didn’t date. He’d made certain she understood that weeks earlier. If she wanted to call their occasional dinners out dates, then that was on her.

  No way would anyone refer to their music sessions as dates. That was nothing more than entertaining a few people a couple times a week. Most definitely that wasn’t dating. Okay, fine, he was willing to admit he stopped by her place once or twice a week and they’d watched television together. He’d seen more movies in the last three weeks than he had in the last three years. Chick flicks, even. Stuff like that should have knocked some sense into him. This relationship continued much longer and he’d be watching the Hallmark Channel.

  “Are you thinking to suggest the two of you be friends?” Rocco asked.

  “Yeah, friends.” Sam brightened, relieved. Telling Beth they should be friends was the perfect solution. It wouldn’t be that much different. He already considered Beth a friend.

  Rocco snickered into his beer.

  “What?” Sam demanded.

  “Good luck with that.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You tell Beth that you want to be just friends and see what happens.”

  Frowning, Sam studied Rocco. “Why do I feel like this is a joke and no one is letting me in on it?”

  “Don’t go the friends route,” Rocco suggested.

  “Why not?”

  “She won’t take it well.”

  “But I mean it.”

  Rocco shook his head as if pitying Sam. “All I’m saying is that trying to friend-zone this isn’t the best idea. Trust me.”

  “Okay.” Rocco would know better, although Sam didn’t understand why.

  Rocco slid off the stool. “Time I headed home. Nichole’s waiting.”

  “Appreciate the talk.”

  “Let me know what happens,” Rocco said and slapped him across the back.

  Sam nodded. He sat for several minutes, then decided the sooner he had this conversation with Beth the better. He reached for his phone.

  She answered before the end of the first ring, as if she’d been expecting his call.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Hey,” she returned enthusiastically. “You in a better mood?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Great, because I’ve got all kinds of things to tell you.”

  She sounded like she was taking a stroll on cloud nine. Sam hated the thought of bursting this bubble.

  “I’m hungry.”

  “Want me to fix us something?”

  He bristled. She was already acting like a wife. “No. Want to meet me at Red Robin for a burger?” he asked. This wasn’t a date. If he was asking her out on a date he’d go and pick her up.

  “Sure.”

  His shoulders sagged with relief. “Give me thirty.”

  “Sounds great. I’ve missed you this week.”

  CHAPTER 24

  Beth

  Beth was in a great mood. She’d had a defining conversation with her mother in which she’d made herself crystal clear.

  “You stepped over the line, Mom,” Beth had told her mother.

  “What do you mean?” Her tone was defensive.

  “Kier.” All it took was one word to explain what she meant.

  “Well, Sweetie—”

  “You don’t need to say anything. I know why he was in town. You’re concerned about Sam and me.”

  “Yes, S-a-m,” her mother drawled out his name. “Sweetie, surely you recognize—”

  Beth cut her off again. “What I recognize is that you’re trying, once again, to manipulate my life, and Mom, as much as I love you, I’m not going to allow you to do that.”

  “I’m only doing what I think is best for you.”

  “What you think is best,” Beth said pointedly. “You.”

  “I’m older and wiser. No one knows you better than me.”

  “Mom, listen, because I’m only going to say this once. This is my life. I will date who I want. I will make my own decisions. I will make my own choices. If you can’t let me do that, then there’s nothing more for us to say.”

  Her mother gasped softly. “You don’t mean that.”

  “Yes, Mom, I do. With every fiber of my being I mean it.”

  Her words were followed by a long pause.

  “Are we clear, Mom?”

  Her question was followed by a deep, reluctant sigh. “Yes, we’re clear.”

  “Good.”

  After she disconnected, Beth felt like standing on her balcony and pounding her chest like Tarzan. She had taken control of her life. No more Kier. No more control issues. Beth had made it clear. THIS WAS HER LIFE.

  Sam had been in a pissy mood all week, not really wanting to talk or spend much time together. But maybe he was over it, since they were having dinner together. She’d missed him. And she had news to share with him. Good news. Exciting news.

 
By the time she arrived at the restaurant, Sam had their name on the list, and no more than five minutes later they were escorted to a booth. Sam liked hamburgers and she did, too. She considered them comfort food because she’d so rarely eaten them while living at home. Actually, she and Sam shared a lot in common when it came to tastes.

  Once seated, the waiter took orders for their drinks and their meal as well. As soon as he left the table, Beth, who was all but bursting with excitement, said, “I had a conversation with my mother this morning.”

  Sam arched his thick brows. “I thought you weren’t talking to your mother.”

  That was true. Beth had been upset about Kier’s visit and wanted to make sure her mother understood she wasn’t going to allow her to manipulate her life choices. Ellie Prudhomme had phoned countless times and Beth had refused to answer.

  “I’ve been ignoring her calls ever since she sent Kier to check up on me. But then she sent several texts, threatening to fly to Portland if I didn’t take her call.” Beth had been surprised. She didn’t think her mother even knew how to text.

  “Guess she took the option away from you.”

  “Well, I certainly didn’t want her visiting me again.”

  “So how’d it go?”

  Sam leaned back and crossed his arms. Beth read that as a defensive measure, certain she was about to tell him how much her mother disliked the fact she was dating him.

  “Actually, it went great—better than great.” Beth resisted the urge to pump her fists in the air. “I told her I wasn’t her pawn and if she sent anyone else out to visit that I would cut off all communication with her.”

  Sam blinked hard. “Did you mean it, Beth?”

  “Every word.” She was serious and wasn’t willing to compromise. The taste of freedom, the ability to make her own choices, choose her own friends, teach and date whomever she pleased, was an elixir and she wasn’t about to risk losing it.

  “I’m glad you were able to get your point across, but I don’t imagine your mother took it sitting down.”

  “She didn’t,” Beth confirmed. “Mom insisted I was ruining my life.”

  “By associating with me?”

  “No, Sam, don’t even think that. I surprised her, though. I told her she was right; I was ruining my life.”

  His frown deepened.

  “And I am. I’m ruining the life she planned for me. I insisted that I am going to live the way I want and she could flush her expectations down the toilet.” Not exactly in those words, but close enough. Beth beamed him a huge smile, expecting him to congratulate her. “Aren’t you going to say anything? This is big for me. Huge.”

  He nodded but didn’t seem to show a lot of enthusiasm.

  Their meals arrived and they both reached for their burgers. Beth took one bite, swallowed, and continued. “And that’s not all. I found Peter Hamlin, the real Peter Hamlin. I even talked to him and I have to say, he’s a piece of work. My aunt is better off without him.”

  “You’re satisfied now?”

  She considered that. “I’m thinking on it, weighing my options. One of the receptionists is really chatty and has worked there for nearly forty years.” Beth reached for a thick french fry and dipped it in ketchup. “She only works two days a week. I was able to talk to her and learned a little more. While Peter might not be Mr. Personality, I think, given the chance, the two might be able to work things out.” She paused and sighed. “Guess I’m the eternal optimist.”

  Sam didn’t look convinced. “If you want my opinion, you’d be wise to drop it.”

  “I’m thinking over how best to proceed. I haven’t made my final decision yet.” She took another bite and saw that Sam hadn’t eaten more than a bite or two of his burger.

  “You feeling okay?” she asked. “You haven’t been yourself all week.”

  He shrugged and leaned forward. “Think it’s time you and I had a talk.”

  “Oh?” This sounded serious. She set the burger down and waited for him to continue.

  Sam pushed his nearly untouched meal aside. “I guess the best way to do it is to just say what’s on my mind.”

  “By all means,” she agreed.

  He expelled a breath. “I think you should consider going out with a few other guys.”

  Beth stared at him and then leaned back in the booth while she processed his words.

  “You aren’t saying anything.” He looked hesitant and uncertain, which was nothing like the Sam she knew.

  “You’ll have to forgive me, Sam, I don’t have much experience in this. Are you breaking up with me?” Her heart felt like it had sprung up to her throat and wrapped itself around her vocal cords.

  “No,” he insisted, adamantly shaking his head. “It’s just that we, the two of us, haven’t been seeing other people.”

  “True.” It took her several moments to sort through her feelings. Her mind filled with questions, the most important of which found a difficult time making its way past the knot in her throat. “Are you telling me you want to date other women?”

  His eyes widened with surprise. “Not at all. No way. Besides, I don’t date.”

  He sounded sincere enough for Beth to believe him. It was hard to maintain her surprise and her hurt. “Then exactly what are you saying?” she asked, deciding to let the “I don’t date” comment pass.

  He rubbed a hand down his face. “I’m crazy about you, Beth, you have to know that.”

  “The feeling’s mutual, you have to know that,” she returned, echoing his words. “I don’t understand, Sam. This is coming out of the blue and it’s mystifying.”

  “I know.” To his credit, Sam looked utterly miserable. “I’m as uncertain and confused as you.”

  “Can you tell me what brought this on?” If he explained, she might be able to decipher where this was coming from.

  “Everything,” he said, looking down. “The Kier thing, I guess, then watching you with Matthew and a bunch of other stuff that’s been floating around in my brain since you got out of the hospital. You said yourself I was your first serious relationship.”

  “You are.”

  “You’ll always wonder,” he said, as if that was self-explanatory.

  “What would I wonder about?” she asked, her dinner forgotten. She gave up all pretense of eating.

  “If…you know.”

  “But I don’t,” she insisted.

  “Okay, say somewhere down the line you meet someone else. You might have regrets. Someone better suited to you than I’ll ever be.”

  “Someone my mother would approve of, you mean.”

  “Not necessarily,” he argued.

  He was intent and serious, and while he’d shocked her, she couldn’t be overly upset with him. It was clear he’d given this matter a lot of thought. She sat for several minutes, struggling to look at it from his point of view.

  “Are you mad?” he asked.

  Clearly he’d expected her to be angry, and to be fair, at first she had been. “No, a little puzzled, but I think I understand. You want me to date other men to be sure what we have is real.”

  “Yes.” Right away his eyes brightened, as if she’d helped him step out of the fog.

  “A lot of men?”

  “Sure,” he said, but he didn’t sound completely convinced.

  She mulled it over and then said, “The school is having a Halloween dance and one of the chaperones, his name is Tyler, asked me to go with him. I turned him down, but if he hasn’t found a date I’ll accept when I see him on Monday.”

  “Good.”

  Sam didn’t sound overly pleased.

  She tapped her index finger against her lips, mentally hashing over other possibilities. “I play the piano for choir practice and Doug Freeman asked me out recently.” She’d never mentioned that to Sam. No reason she should.

  “Then go out with him.”

  He sounded like he spoke through gritted teeth.

  “Is it considered bad taste to date two men at th
e same time?” She genuinely needed to know.

  “Only if you’re in an exclusive relationship.”

  “Okay,” she said, and reached for her hamburger. She paused with the burger halfway to her mouth. “The father of one of my piano students hinted that he was single when he picked up Ricky. I didn’t encourage him. Maybe I should. What do you think?”

  “That’s your decision.”

  “Right. Guess the more men I date the better feel I’ll have about who’s right for me.”

  “Right.” Sam’s burger remained untouched.

  “Question.”

  “Sure,” he said.

  “Will I see you again, or would you rather we not see each other for a while? Either way is fine with me. You decide.”

  “I’d like to see you as friends.”

  Beth smiled. “Good. I’ll look forward to that, then. Being friends, I mean.”

  His returning grin didn’t quite reach his eyes.

  “Do you feel better now?” she asked.

  “I guess.”

  “This has been weighing on you all week, hasn’t it?”

  “It has,” he agreed.

  “Silly of you, Sam. You should have said something sooner.”

  The waiter came by with their tab and Beth reached for her purse and took out a twenty.

  “I’m buying,” Sam insisted.

  “I appreciate it, Sam, but as you recently mentioned, you don’t date. We aren’t a couple, so it’s best that I pay my own way.” She set the bill on the table, slid out of the booth, kissed him on the cheek, and walked out of the restaurant with her head held high.

  CHAPTER 25

  Sam

  Suggesting Beth date other men wasn’t working out anywhere close to the way Sam had expected. The only time he’d seen Beth all week was at the rehab facility. She breezed in at the last minute, after insisting she didn’t need a ride. When they’d finished performing, she announced she could play only one night that week. She didn’t offer an excuse, but Sam could very well guess the reason. He noticed it hadn’t taken her long to take him up on his suggestion.

  Friday after work, a week after their initial conversation, Sam found himself at loose ends. He called Beth, not for any reason in particular, just to check up and see how things were.