All Things Considered Read online

  The only sound in the car was that of the revved engine. Lanni’s breathing was short and choppy. It wasn’t until they reached the outskirts of Miles City that she realized her breathing echoed Stuart’s shallow gasps. Only his were punctuated with a sigh now and again to disguise his pain.

  Judd drove directly to Holy Rosary Hospital on Clark Street, running two red lights in his urgency to get his father to a medical team as quickly as possible.

  After Stuart had been taken into the emergency entrance, Judd and Lanni were directed to a small reception area. The waiting, not knowing what was happening, was by far the worst.

  “When did he say he started feeling so terribly ill?” Lanni asked, reaching for Judd’s hand, their fingers entwined, gripping each other for reassurance.

  “He hasn’t been up to par all week. He saw Doc Simpson yesterday afternoon and the doctor was concerned then. Dad’s ulcer is apparently peptic.”

  “English, please.”

  “It’s commonly referred to as a bleeding ulcer. They’re bad, Lanni, painful.”

  “I feel like an idiot.” She hung her head, ashamed at her behavior and how she’d accused Stuart of staging the entire attack so she’d remain in Montana.

  “Don’t,” Judd said, giving her fingers a reassuring squeeze. “Given an identical set of circumstances, I might have believed the same thing. Dad has a way about him that sometimes even I don’t trust.”

  “Why didn’t he say something earlier?”

  Judd recalled the argument they’d had the night before when he’d confronted Stuart about the bracelet, building the house, and fending off Steve’s calls. Stuart had been quick-tempered and unreasonable, and Judd had attributed it to his stubborn nature. Now he understood that Stuart had been in a great deal of pain even then.

  “Judd?” Lanni coaxed.

  “Sorry. What were you saying?”

  “I wanted to know why Stuart didn’t tell us something was wrong earlier.”

  Judd’s smile was off-center. “Pride, I suspect. Telling anyone would be admitting to a weakness. In case you haven’t noticed, the Matthiessen men refuse to appear weak, no matter what it cost.”

  “Never,” Lanni confirmed, doing her best to disguise a smile. “They’re not stubborn, either, and hardly ever proud.”

  When the doctor approached them, Judd rose quickly to his feet. Lanni stood with him, trying to read the doctor’s expression and failing.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Matthiessen?”

  “Yes. How’s my father?”

  “He’s resting comfortably now. We’d like to keep him overnight for observation and a few tests, but he should be able to leave the hospital tomorrow.”

  Judd sighed with relief. “Thank you, Doctor.” The minute the physician turned away, Judd brought Lanni into his arms and buried his face in the curve of her neck.

  “I don’t mind telling you I was frightened,” he whispered.

  “I was, too. He’s a crotchety old man, but I’ve grown fond of him.”

  “It’s funny,” Judd said with a short laugh. “I’m relieved that he’s going to be fine and in the same breath I’d like to shake him silly for worrying us so much.”

  “I feel the same way.”

  Judd slid his arm around her shoulder. “Let’s go see him for a minute and then we’ll drive on out to the airport and see about getting you a plane to Seattle.”

  Twelve

  “Yes, well.” Lanni shifted her feet. Her mind went blank for a plausible excuse to cancel the trip. “I may have reacted hastily. I’m sure if I make a couple of phone calls I’ll be able to work out the problem from this end of things.”

  “What do you mean?” Judd’s eyes looked capable of boring holes straight through her. “Three hours ago it was imperative that you reach Seattle. You made it sound like a biblical-style catastrophe would befall the realty if you weren’t there to see to it.”

  “I could have exaggerated a teensy bit.” Lanni swallowed uncomfortably, feeling incredibly guilty.

  “Lanni?”

  “All right, all right,” she admitted, hating herself more by the minute. “I made the entire thing up.”

  “What!” Judd was furious; it showed in every feature of his chiseled, masculine face. His eyes narrowed, his nostrils flared, and his mouth thinned dangerously.

  She couldn’t very well admit that Steve had this senseless, idiotic notion that she was being held against her wishes. “Steve seemed to think I was needed in Seattle.” Even to her own ears, that excuse sounded lame.

  “I’ll just bet he wanted you back, and I’m smart enough to know the reason why even if you aren’t.”

  “It wasn’t like that,” she flared.

  “You had time to discuss this scheme with Steve, but not enough to tell him we’d reconciled.”

  “I’ll tell him.”

  “You’re darn right you will.” His grip on her elbow as he led her into the hospital parking lot was just short of being painful.

  “I can’t believe you. You’re behaving like Steve Delaney is a threat to us. Judd, I swear to you, he isn’t,” Lanni muttered, slipping inside the front seat of the SUV. “I’m yours, Judd Matthiessen, and the only thing that could ever come between us again is of your own making.”

  “And what’s that?”

  Her unflinching gaze met his. “If you were to leave me again, it’d be over in a minute. Judd, I mean that. My love is strong enough to withstand just about anything, but not that.”

  “It isn’t going to happen.”

  Lanni leaned her head against the headrest and closed her eyes. Judd started the SUV and pulled onto the street. His assurances rang shockingly familiar. It seemed every time he returned from a trip in the beginning, she’d made him promise he wouldn’t leave her again. To his credit, he’d taken a job in Seattle, and a month, maybe two, would pass before he’d find some excuse to be free of her and travel again.

  “I’ll never leave you, Lanni. I swear to it by everything I hold sacred.”

  “What happens when money gets tight?” In her mind, Lanni had listed the excuses Judd had conveniently used in the past.

  “Simple. We’ll sell off a few head of cattle and cut down expenses.”

  “What happens if Jenny gets sickly again?”

  “We’ll get her to a doctor.”

  Lanni shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “Doctors cost money.” He’d used that excuse the first time. Lanni recognized that she sounded like an insecure little girl, but she refused to live in a dream world, no matter how comfortable it was. Too much was at stake, and she needed to know that this reconciliation with Judd was concrete.

  “Montana is a bit different from Seattle. Doc Simpson’s a patient man. He’ll wait.”

  “What if…”

  “I’m home, Lanni. We all are.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut. It would be so incredibly easy to give in to her desire to bury the unpleasantness of the last years and start fresh. She wanted it so badly, perhaps too badly.

  Judd apparently had a few questions of his own. “What about your family?”

  “What about them?”

  “They aren’t going to be pleased we’re back together. Nor are they going to like the idea of you moving to Montana.”

  Lanni knew what he said was true. It could cause an ugly scene, but Lanni prayed that it wouldn’t come to that. “They may not fully understand, but in time, they’ll accept it. They’ll have to.”

  “I know how close you are to your mother. I don’t want to take you away from her.”

  “I realize that, and I believe she does as well, but I’m twenty-seven. It’s time I left my security blanket behind, don’t you think?”

  “Yes,” he admitted starkly. He reached for her hand, which rested on the seat between them, a
nd brought it to his lips. “We have a lot of time to make up for, Lanni. There’ve been too many wasted years for us. I’m not going to kid you and say everything’s going to be easy. We have some rough roads to travel yet with the ranch. The amount of work that needs to be done is overwhelming.”

  She nodded. She knew little about ranching, but if the run-down condition of the house was indicative of everything on the Circle M, then she could put it into perspective.

  “It’s going to require every penny I own to restock the herd. Jim wants me to fly down to Texas on Thursday and look over some stock he read about there. I’m going to do it and put several thousand dollars on the line. It’s a gamble, but a calculated one. Are you with me, love?”

  “One thousand percent.”

  Briefly their eyes met and it took all Judd’s control not to pull the car to the side of the road, turn off the engine, and haul her into his arms.

  * * *

  —

  Jim was pacing the yard restlessly by the time Judd returned. As soon as Judd parked the SUV, the two men were off in the pickup for what Jim called some ranchers’ meeting. Feeling better than she had in some time, Lanni moved across the yard to the Petermans’ house to get Jenny.

  Betty stood at the back door and opened the screen when she approached. “What did the doctors have to say about Stuart?”

  “He’ll be fine. They’re keeping him overnight for tests and observation. Judd will pick him up in the morning.”

  Betty poured them each a cup of coffee, stirred hers, and focused her gaze on the plain stem of the spoon. “Knowing Stuart, he’s going to be a handful once he’s back on the ranch, wanting to do more than he should.”

  “We’ll manage him.” But Lanni had her own doubts. Stuart Matthiessen could be as stubborn and strong-willed as his son. “It’s likely I’ll need your help.”

  “You’ve got it,” Betty said, showing her pleasure that Lanni had asked. “The neighbor down the road, Sally Moore, phoned this morning,” Betty told Lanni. “She wanted me to extend an invitation to you for the Twin Deer Women’s Luncheon on Friday of this week.”

  “I’d enjoy that.”

  Betty’s cheeks formed deeply grooved dimples as she grinned.

  “I don’t suppose you had anything to do with this invitation?”

  Chuckling, Betty shook her head. “It’s about time you met some of the other young wives in the community. They’re anxious to get to know you.”

  “I’m looking forward to meeting them.”

  “Most of them are curious to meet the woman who tamed Judd Matthiessen,” Betty teased affectionately.

  “Then I’m sure to disappoint them.”

  “Ha!” Betty sputtered. “You’ve got half the town talking as it is. You’re going to fit in nicely in Twin Deer.” Betty added emphasis to her statement by nodding. “It does my heart good to see Judd home after all these years. It’s where he belongs.”

  And because Judd belonged on the Circle M, Lanni and Jenny did as well. She’d make Montana their home, with the assurance that Judd would never walk away from her here.

  Early on, Lanni had discovered that she loved the wide blue skies of Montana as much as Judd did. She’d always been the homey type, and although it didn’t look like she would be able to continue in her career as a real estate agent, she’d already picked up on the information that the local grade school needed a third-grade teacher. Of course, she’d need to renew her teaching certificate, but that shouldn’t be so difficult.

  After coffee and conversation, Lanni headed back to the house with Jenny and tucked the little girl upstairs for her afternoon nap. She delayed making the call to Steve as long as she dared. Finally, she called him from the kitchen phone, leaning her hip against the wall as she spoke.

  “Hello, Steve, it’s Lanni.”

  “Thank goodness you phoned. I’ve been worried sick.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Well, don’t keep me in suspense, for heaven’s sake—what happened?” He sounded agitated, his usually calm voice raised and jerky.

  “Nothing much. I announced I had to get back to Seattle and it created a lot of heated discussion, but Judd agreed to take me to the airport. However, Stuart had this stomach attack and we ended up having to take him to the hospital first.”

  “He was playing on your sympathy. Couldn’t you see through that ploy, Lanni? With your solid-gold heart, you fell for it.”

  Lanni was furious with her coworker for even suggesting such a thing until she realized her first reaction had been to doubt the authenticity of Stuart’s ailment. “No, it was real enough, although, to be honest, I had my doubts at first.”

  “Stuart wants you to stay on the ranch.” Steve didn’t sound pleased at the prospect. “You are coming home soon, aren’t you?”

  “Eventually, I’ll be back.” Lanni heard the soft gasp over the wire and experienced a nip of regret. Steve had been a good friend and she hated to hurt or disappoint him.

  “You don’t mean what I think you do? Please, Lanni, tell me you’re not seriously considering going back to your husband and moving into that godforsaken piece of tumbleweed?”

  “Actually, Steve, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” Her fellow worker was silent for so long that Lanni wondered if he was still on the line. “Steve, are you there?”

  “I’m here,” he mumbled, his voice thick with disappointment. “I remember the first time I met you,” he said softly. “You were like this emotionally wounded combat soldier, and I was intrigued. In the beginning you were just another challenge, but it soon became more than that. It took me months to gain your confidence, and each and every day I made an effort to show you that I cared.”

  “Steve, please, don’t, I—”

  “Let me finish,” he cut in sharply. “First you became my friend; you’ll never know how excited I was when you agreed to attend that baseball game with me. Later, when we went out to dinner, I felt as excited as a schoolboy. I love you, Lanni. I’ve loved you for months.”

  Lanni closed her eyes to the waves of regret that washed over her. “I thank you for being such a good friend.”

  “But I want to be so much more than that.”

  “It’s impossible. You know how much I love Judd; I always have. Even if things hadn’t turned out this way, you would have always gotten second best from me. You’re too good a man to accept that.”

  “It would have been enough—with you.”

  “Oh, Steve, please don’t say that. This is hard enough. Let’s part as friends and remember that what we shared was a special kind of friendship. I’ll never forget you.”

  Another long silence followed. “Be happy, Lanni.”

  “You, too, partner.”

  “Keep in touch?” He made the statement a question.

  “If you like.” For her part, she preferred to make a clean break of it.

  Again Steve hesitated. “You’re sure going back to your husband is what you want?”

  “I’m sure. Very sure.” Lanni had no doubts now. She had sealed her commitment to Judd the minute she’d let him into her bed.

  “Good-bye, then, Lanni.”

  “Yes, good-bye, Steve.”

  Lanni discovered when she replaced the receiver that her hands were trembling. She’d hurt Steve, and that hadn’t ever been her intention. He was a good man, a kind man who had cared a great deal for her. He’d been patient and gentle when she’d needed it most. She’d meant what she said about remembering him fondly. In the future, she wanted only the best for him.

  The sound of the front screen door slamming brought her thoughts up short.

  “Lanni.” It was Judd.

  “In here,” she said somewhat breathlessly, doing her best to appear nonchalant. “What are you doing here? I thought you and Jim had gone to some ranc
hers’ meeting?”

  Judd looped his arms around her waist and lowered his voice to a husky whisper. “I came back,” he said, looking at Lanni. He wanted to talk to his wife. From the time he’d gotten in the pickup with Jim, Judd had let his conversation with Lanni fill his mind. She was willing to give up everything for him. Her home. Her career. Her family. Her love had given him the most priceless gift of his life—their daughter. His heart swelled with such love that there weren’t words with which to express it. His large hands circled her waist and brought her back inside his arms.

  His ardent kiss caught Lanni by surprise. While his mouth continued to cover hers, his fingers worked her blouse loose from her waistband and lifted the shirttail enough to allow his hand entry. They sighed in unison when his fingers caressed her breast.

  “What about work?” Lanni whispered.

  “Not interested.” He worked the zipper of her jeans open, kissing away any protest.

  “Judd?” Between deep, soul-drugged kisses, Lanni managed to get out his name.

  Judd lifted her into his arms and headed for the stairway.

  “Judd,” she said and groaned in weak protest. “It’s the middle of the day.”

  A crooked grin slashed his sensuous mouth. “I know.”

  * * *

  —

  Stuart arrived home early the following afternoon, looking chipper and exceedingly pleased with himself. Lanni brought him his dinner on a tray and set it in front of the television.

  “I see you’re still around,” he grumbled.

  “No thanks to you.”

  “You belong here. A city slicker isn’t ever going to make you happy.”

  “I think you may be right.” His head came up so fast that Lanni laughed outright. “I have no intention of leaving the Circle M.”

  Stuart’s grin was the closest Lanni had ever seen to a Cheshire cat’s smug expression. “This land will be good to you. Mark my words.”