The Knitting Diaries Read online

  “But it does now?”

  “I’ve started going to the office again,” he admitted cautiously, not sure why she’d thought to investigate him. He glanced at her knee again and knew. “You found out about the nurses.”

  “That you’re paying for them? Yes.”

  “I did that because I care about you. You took care of me. All of you.”

  “That was different.”

  “No, it wasn’t.”

  She pressed her lips together. “Adeline’s cruise. The one she supposedly won? That was you?”

  He shrugged.

  “And the amazing deal Marion got on the wedding. You’re supplementing the cost, aren’t you?”

  He picked up the tea. “I wanted to say thank-you.”

  “Sometimes the words are enough.”

  “I seem to have lost my way with words.” He stared at the woman who had pulled him back from the brink of emotional death. “How angry are you?”

  “I’m not angry. I’m hurt that you would try to deceive me.”

  “It wasn’t like that. I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to help. Are you going to tell them?”

  He meant Eleanor’s friends, as well as Robyn. He’d never wanted them to know who he’d been—mostly because he wasn’t that man anymore. His interest in his business had changed. Being wealthy wasn’t important. But finding a talented artist—bringing him or her to the public—that still excited him.

  “I won’t tell them,” Eleanor said. “Robyn knows you paid for the nurse, so I can’t change that, but I said you’d simply paid the difference for me. She believed me.”

  “You don’t have to lie for me. I’ll tell her.”

  “No, don’t. It’s better this way. If they knew, things would change.”

  He didn’t want to lose the friendships he had at Only Ewe. “Thank you. For understanding and for saving me.”

  “Silly boy, you saved yourself.”

  He knew she thought she was telling the truth. That no matter what, he would have come through. But he knew differently. He knew how close to the edge he’d gone and how the three of them had miraculously pulled him to safety. He knew without them, he wouldn’t be here today. And he would always be grateful.

  Robyn flipped on the lights in the store and set down her purse. She turned to make sure Eleanor was moving easily.

  “Are you sure it’s not too soon?” she asked, watching her grandmother walk into the store.

  “I’m sure. I need to get out of the house. I’ve learned that I’m not a fan of daytime television.”

  Eleanor sat in the chair by the register and looked around. Robyn followed her gaze, hoping the store looked as it should. She’d kept up on stock, had taught the classes, taken in the bank deposits and generally managed as best she could. Although she’d worked hard, she’d loved every second of it. This store was like a second home to her.

  “You’ve done well,” her grandmother told her with a smile. “I’m very proud of you.”

  “Thank you. I’ve had fun. The customers are great. Oh, someone rented the store next door. Tina from First Texas Bank said that she heard it’s going to be a kitchen store, which is great. We should have the same demographics for our customers.”

  “That is good news. Better a girl business than a boy one for our neighbor.”

  “Are you glad to be back?” Robyn asked.

  “I am, but my weeks away gave me time to think. What are you going to do, Robyn? You said you were thinking of staying here, but have you made any decisions?”

  “Yes. I’m done with New York. This is where I belong.” Robyn outlined her thoughts on getting a job in a restaurant and figuring out what she needed to study to get on with her life. As she spoke, she was aware that she kept one eye on the door, as if anticipating someone’s arrival.

  Not “someone,” she thought with a sigh. T.J. Since her grandmother’s surgery, they’d been spending time together nearly every day. She liked him, liked being around him. When he wasn’t there, she missed him.

  “I wondered if you had any interest in the store,” her grandmother said.

  “Working for you?”

  “No. I was wondering if you would like to buy me out.”

  Robyn stared at her. Buy her out? As in buy the store? “But what would you do?”

  “Adeline and I have been talking. She loved her cruise and wants to do more traveling. We’re both alone and with Marion getting married, we’ll be more of a twosome than a trio. I would still want to work here, but I think I’d prefer to be an employee than an owner.”

  Buy the store. Robyn turned in a slow circle, looking at the familiar shelves, the colorful yarn, the racks of patterns. She did have some ideas, she realized. Different classes to try, advertising experiments.

  “I’d love to,” she admitted, feeling the wanting swelling inside of her. “But I don’t know how it’s possible. I don’t have any money or assets.”

  “The business is the asset. I would finance the sale myself.” Her grandmother smiled. “I think after all this time I can trust you to pay me back.”

  Robyn laughed with pure happiness. Taking on the business would be a big responsibility, but it felt right. She ran to her grandmother and hugged her tight.

  “I’d love to talk about this,” she said eagerly. “We could keep the business in the family and you’d still be here. And I swear I’ll pay back every penny.”

  “I know you will. Plus, you’d get to boss me around,” Eleanor teased.

  Robyn laughed again. “That would be fun.”

  “Good. Then we’ll talk details tonight.” She pointed to the clock. “It’s time to open.”

  The morning went quickly. Marion and Adeline arrived and were told the happy news. Robyn found herself helping customers with a renewed energy and excitement, but she couldn’t help watching the front door, waiting for T.J. to arrive.

  She wanted to tell him. Maybe it was crazy or she was putting too much on their friendship, but somehow the moment wouldn’t be complete until he knew.

  T.J. arrived at Only Ewe a little before noon. He hadn’t planned on coming by but Eleanor had called and asked him to.

  Ever since he’d learned that she knew who he was, he hadn’t been as comfortable around the store. When he was a beat-up, out of work songwriter, he was at ease in his skin. But as T. J. Passman, President and CEO of Long Day Records, he was just a guy who’d lost everything that mattered.

  As he pulled open the front door to the store, he found himself looking forward to seeing Robyn. Avoiding the store had meant avoiding her and he’d missed spending time with her. She was different than he’d first imagined. Smart, funny, determined, caring.

  He saw her holding out yarn to a girl who was maybe eight or nine. Robyn crouched down, to get on eye level with her tiny customer and said something about yarn. The girl fingered the soft yarn, then laughed. Her mother nodded approvingly and the kid took the yarn.

  Robyn stood and turned. When she saw him, her eyes widened and she hurried over.

  “You came by,” she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him back outside. “I was hoping you would. I have something to tell you.”

  She was flushed with excitement, practically bouncing in place. Obviously what she had to share was important. But all he could think was that he wanted to kiss her. Right now—his mouth on hers, up against the wall of the building. He wanted to feel the warmth of her body seeping into his. He wanted to tangle his fingers in her blond hair and then run his hands down the length of her body. He wanted her hot and hungry and taking as good as she got.

  The image was as powerful as it was vivid. His body actually ached from the need building inside of him.

  It had been so long since he’d felt any kind of sexual attraction, he didn’t know what to do with the feeling. He hadn’t just slowly stirred to life—he’d come back roaring and ready.

  “T.J.?” Robyn stared at him, her eyebrows drawn together. “Are you all right?”
r />   “Fine,” he said automatically, ripping his gaze from her mouth. “What’s going on?”

  She hesitated for a second, as if wanting to ask more, and then she grinned.

  “My grandmother talked to me about the store. She says she’s ready to retire from the business. Not completely. She still wants to work here, but as an employee, not the owner. She says I can buy her out, if I want. That this can be mine!”

  She clutched her hands together in front of her chest, as if trying to contain too much excitement.

  “Is that what you want?” he asked. “You’d said something about going back to college.”

  “Sure, because I’d have to. Singing and dancing isn’t going to pay the bills. Besides, that part of my life is done. I enjoyed it but I’m not like my mom. I don’t want to open a studio. I was thinking business because then I would be trained to do something, but to have this?”

  She turned to face the front of the store, then grabbed his hands in hers. “I love everything about Only Ewe. The space itself, the customers, the classes. It’s not just a place to buy, it’s a community. I’d forgotten that. I belong here. I’ve always belonged. I guess it just took me a while to figure that out.”

  Her happiness was tangible. She glowed from the inside and nearly danced in place. On a practical level, the arrangement made sense, but it was more than that, he thought. Eleanor asking Robyn if she was interested in buying the business was an act of trust and acceptance.

  “I’m going to sign up for a couple of business classes,” she said, still holding his hands. “Basic accounting, a marketing class. I can take them at Austin Community College. They hold classes at Georgetown High School. Did you know that? How come I never knew that? I’m not going to make a lot of changes but I do have a few ideas.” She bounced on her toes. “You’re not saying anything.”

  “I’m happy for you.”

  She stared at him. “Are you really? Are you sure?”

  “Very. You’re going to be great.”

  “No doubts?”

  “Not one.”

  Then, because he couldn’t help himself, he pulled his right hand free and cupped her cheek. He bent down and pressed his mouth to hers.

  She might have been surprised, but she responded immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck and melting against him. Her surrender was nearly as erotic as the feel of her body pressing close to his.

  When she parted her lips, he swept inside to claim her. Her tongue met his in a dance that made him both hard and weak. Her sweetness fed his hunger, making him burn. Had they been anywhere else, he would have been tempted to take more, but it was the middle of the day, on a street in town, in front of her store. Reluctantly, he drew back.

  Her eyes were slightly glazed, her mouth parted. Uneven breathing filling the silence and he wasn’t sure if it came from him or her.

  She blinked slowly. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”

  “Me, either.”

  Her mouth curved into a slow, sexy smile. “Impressive.”

  He grinned. “You, too.”

  She glanced over her shoulder at the store, then sighed. “Rain check?”

  Wanting still coursed through him—controlled but very much alive. Maybe there would be guilt later, but for now, for the first time in years, he was happy to be alive.

  “Sure,” he said. “A rain check.”

  “Can I hold you to that?”

  “It’s a promise.”

  She raised herself on tiptoes and lightly brushed her mouth against his. The wanting returned, and with it the need to pull her close. But he forced himself to stay still and she stepped back.

  “You’re unexpected,” she murmured.

  “So are you.”

  “Is that good or bad?”

  He thought about the sadness in his past. The loss. How he’d assumed he would never feel anything again. Did feeling something now betray what he’d had before? He didn’t have an answer, but wasn’t it enough that he’d gotten to the place where he wanted to ask the question?

  Or maybe life was about moving on. He’d expected to spend the rest of his days mourning what’d he’d lost. Somewhere along the way, he’d started to heal.

  He smiled at her. “It’s good.”

  Ten

  T.J. walked into Long Day Records and knew he had to make a decision about the business. Either he got involved again, turned the day-to-day running of it over to his executive staff or he sold it completely. Being half-present wasn’t helping anyone. There were nearly a hundred employees at the company—people’s lives and paychecks were on the line.

  The open foyer was familiar. There was plenty of seating, as hopeful artists tended to show up without an appointment. In the music business, there was always the dream of making it big, if only someone would listen.

  Today there were about a half-dozen people. Three guys who were obviously part of a band, a girl duo and a scruffy-looking kid in his twenties with a guitar that had seen better days. All six pairs of eyes were trained on the closed door that led to the audition room in back. If those hopefuls were lucky, someone would call them and they would walk through the door. They would be given a shot. One chance to prove they had “it.”

  Many a dream had been realized in this building, he thought proudly. He’d discovered his fair share of rising stars. He had an ear for talent, although it had been a long time since he’d used it.

  He nodded at the receptionist, then went upstairs, to the executive floor. His office was waiting for him. His desk surface too clean, his in-box empty. No one expected him to show up anymore. The company went on without him.

  Across the hall was a large conference room. Gold and platinum records hung there. He could point to at least half the names and know that he’d discovered them. There had been a time when he’d enjoyed taking off for a couple of months and driving through different parts of the country, stopping in small towns to listen to the local talent. He’d given that up when he’d gotten married, but maybe it was something he could start again.

  Would Robyn want to go with him? His wife hadn’t been interested, but he could see Robyn being excited by the idea. With her background, she would have an ear for potential. Maybe in an RV, he thought, his mind immediately sliding to a built-in bed and tangled sheets.

  He forced his attention back to the question about his business. As he returned to his office, he knew he didn’t want to sell Long Day Records, but he also wasn’t interested in the details of daily management. Which meant it was probably time to officially step down as president and let someone else actually do the job.

  He thought of the six kids waiting downstairs, of the dreams they had and the hope in their eyes. He picked up the phone on his desk and punched in the extension for the receptionist in the foyer.

  “This is T.J. Send the band back to the audition room,” he said.

  “Right away.” He heard the smile in her voice. “They’re looking pretty nervous. Be careful they don’t throw up or something.”

  He chuckled. “I can handle it. Tell them I’ll be down in about ten minutes.”

  “Sure thing, boss.”

  He would hear everyone today, he thought as he left his office. The kid last. For some reason, he had a feeling about him. But first he was going to tell his COO that his promotion to president was long overdue. Brandon was more than capable of running the label.

  As for himself, T.J. would go back into artist development. He would search out talent and polish the best of what he found until it shined. Making dreams come true had always been the best part of his day.

  Robyn’s week sped by. By Thursday, she’d registered for her first night class at the community college, had met with Eleanor’s accountant and had gone with her grandmother to meet with a lawyer about the details involved with buying the business. As her grandmother would be financing the purchase, no bank approval was necessary, but there was still going to be plenty of paperwork.

  With Marion’s wed
ding fast approaching, spending several hours a day learning about inventory and the class schedule and the intricacies of figuring out the deposit every day, there didn’t seem to be a moment to breathe. Still, Robyn managed to notice that T.J. hadn’t been around. Not since he’d practically made her swoon with his unexpected kiss.

  A man who would kiss and run was inherently dangerous. She knew that. But she also couldn’t stop thinking about him, not to mention missing him. Being a grown, mature woman, she could easily pick up the phone and call him. But what sounded good in theory turned out to be impossible to put into practice. So instead of simply finding out what was going on with him, she fretted.

  Late Thursday afternoon, the UPS guy pulled up behind the store and announced he had a big delivery. Marion had already left for another dress fitting and Eleanor was off at physical therapy. While Adeline manned the front of the store, Robyn went into the back to supervise.

  Normally the process took a couple of minutes as a half-dozen or so boxes were dropped off. Today, all the yarn arrived at once. There had to be at least twenty-five boxes, stacked in every spare inch of space. She signed for all of it, then wondered how on earth she was going to get it sorted and put away.

  Adeline stuck her head in and gasped. “You’re kidding. All that?”

  “Apparently. I knew the shelves were a little bare, but still.”

  “You’ll be here until midnight.”

  Robyn laughed. “Yes, but I’ll be doing what I love. Don’t worry about me. I’ll order in a pizza and get it done.”

  “Don’t get grease on the yarn.”

  Instead of taking offense, Robyn crossed to the older woman, put her hands on Adeline’s shoulders and kissed her cheek.

  “I love you very much and I’m so happy to be back home.”

  Adeline pressed her lips together. “Yes, well, we love you, too. And don’t get grease on the yarn.”

  Robyn laughed. “I won’t. I promise.”

  She organized the boxes, wrestling them into neat rows, stacked by manufacturer and type. Some of the yarn needed to get out onto the shelves right away. Wedding and baby season was fast approaching and the knitters in the community were already looking for lightweight summer yarns and soft, delicate skeins.