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  Sarah stiffened. “Mothers, even real mothers, aren’t perfect.”

  “So I’ve noticed.”

  “Neither are their children.”

  To Sarah’s surprise, Calla laughed. “Touché.”

  While Calla was still in high spirits, Sarah decided to finalize the details of her visit. “It wouldn’t be difficult to exchange the airline ticket I sent you for Thanksgiving.” She wasn’t actually sure that was true, but she’d gladly purchase another ticket, if necessary.

  “I wouldn’t have to stay with you and…and your husband, would I?” she asked. “You told me before that Grandpa said I could have my old room back.”

  “I’m sure he’d be willing to make the same arrangement,” Sarah assured her, hoping her excitement didn’t show.

  “In that case, I’ll come home, but only for Christmas.”

  “Just one day?” Sarah shouldn’t be greedy, but she wanted Calla to stay much longer. A week, possibly two. Her heart’s desire was that her daughter would recognize that she’d been wrong to leave.

  “I might be able to stay a bit longer than one day,” Calla offered, her tone suggesting she’d bestowed a tremendous favor.

  “How long?” she asked warily, fearing Calla would use the opportunity to hurt her.

  “A week,” Calla announced tautly, as though she expected an argument.

  “That would be perfect.” Sarah couldn’t quite disguise her delight. “I’ll call the travel agent in Grand Forks today and have the tickets sent to your father’s.”

  “Ah…Mom, listen, would it be possible for you to get the ticket mailed to my job? You know what a slob Dad can be. Things have a way of turning up lost or missing at his place…so it’d probably be best if I could pick up the ticket at the BurgerHaven.”

  “All right.” She reached for a pen and paper and wrote down the address. Then, because she was curious as to why Calla had rebuffed her previous gift of an airline ticket, she asked, “Why didn’t you want to come for Thanksgiving?”

  Calla hesitated. “Dad told me you were pregnant. I thought it was a ploy to keep me with him, but I wasn’t sure.”

  Sarah closed her eyes and swallowed tightly. It had been a lie, but it wasn’t now. Clearly this wasn’t the time to mention her pregnancy.

  “He was lying, wasn’t he?”

  Willie had lied. He couldn’t possibly have known; she hadn’t known herself. Sarah suspected it wasn’t the first time he’d misled their daughter. “That’s why you didn’t come here?” she asked, not answering Calla’s question.

  “No…the ticket went missing, and well, that’s the reason I wanted you to have it mailed to the BurgerHaven.”

  “The ticket went missing?” Sarah repeated.

  “Dad said it must have gotten lost…”

  That rat! He’d returned the ticket himself and let Sarah believe Calla had heartlessly rejected her offer.

  “I’ll make sure the new ticket’s mailed to the BurgerHaven,” Sarah promised. “Or you could pick it up at the airport,” she suggested, but Calla seemed to find that an intimidating prospect.

  “I want it right here, in my hot little hands,” she joked. They spoke a few minutes longer and although Sarah didn’t want to end the conversation, Calla’s telephone card had nearly expired and Willie was due home any minute.

  “I’ll see you next week then,” Calla said quickly.

  “Next week.” Sarah replaced the telephone in its cradle and if she hadn’t been ordered to rest, she would have danced around the room. She had to let her daughter know about the baby, but she’d bide her time and choose exactly the right moment.

  Buffalo Bob pressed the telephone hard against his ear, listening intently. He’d never met Doug Alder, the Savannah attorney Maddy McKenna had recommended, but had talked to him several times over the phone. The case involving Axel was complicated, to say the least, and Doug had decided to work with a California law firm, which meant additional fees and a larger retainer.

  During a conference call earlier in the month, both Bob and Merrily had talked to the attorneys regarding their situation.

  Merrily had done most of the talking. Her reluctance to work with the authorities was obvious. She didn’t trust the lawyers any more than she did Axel’s birth parents.

  “Well?” she muttered now, looking to Bob for an answer.

  Still listening, Bob held up his hand and shook his head. It was difficult enough to understand the complexity of what Doug was saying without Merrily’s constant interruptions.

  “As we decided, I contacted Child Protective Services for the state of California on your behalf,” Doug Alder continued.

  “You didn’t mention where Axel was, did you?” Bob demanded.

  Merrily’s eyes flared wide.

  “No…no. I did exactly as we agreed. You tell Merrily I kept my promise to her.”

  “I will,” Bob said, relieved. He’d wanted this to be another conference call, had wanted to include his wife in the meeting, but she’d refused. The first call had ended abruptly, with her nearly in hysterics. Bob had felt trapped—between Doug’s recommendation and Merrily’s need for comfort and reassurance. He didn’t know how she’d cope if they lost Axel.

  “I explained the situation,” Doug went on, “but it’s messy. Merrily not only took Axel, she drove him across state lines. That’s a federal kidnapping charge, a serious offense.”

  Bob realized that if they weren’t careful, his wife could end up serving jail time. He wouldn’t be exempt from charges himself. His hand tightened around the receiver. “I know there are…problems.”

  “It doesn’t help matters that she didn’t get in touch with the authorities when she learned Axel’s father intended to sell him.”

  “She doesn’t trust the so-called authorities!” Bob shouted, losing his patience. “Besides, Merrily did report what was happening. She called Child Protective Services, but by the time they arrived the bruises were gone. Merrily tried to tell them, and the woman took a report, but nothing ever came of it.” If anything, her reporting the abuse had made matters worse. Shortly afterward, Axel’s parents had decided to sell him to the highest bidder.

  “It’s understandable, considering her history.” Doug sighed. “Merrily’s drug conviction could hurt our case.”

  Bob’s eyes flew to his wife. “I know.” He could barely choke out the words. She had a drug conviction—and she’d kept it hidden from him! Throughout the entire ordeal, Bob had been nothing but forthright and honest with Merrily. He’d risked everything for her and the boy, and she hadn’t trusted him enough to reveal the truth about her background.

  “That’s not all.”

  A hard knot formed in Bob’s chest. “There’s more?”

  His question was followed by another heavy sigh. “In the time you’ve had Axel, his father’s landed in prison on a drug charge.”

  This was good news as far as Bob could see. After the way the bastard had abused his own child, prison was exactly where he belonged.

  “He has a twenty-year sentence, but he’s already been in trouble—fighting with other inmates. It doesn’t look like he’s going to be paroled any year soon.”

  “Good.”

  Merrily watched him the way an animal does its prey, pacing back and forth, from the far edge of hope to the brink of despair, frantic to know what was being said, yet afraid to listen herself.

  “About Axel’s mother—”

  “Don’t know her, but Merrily does.”

  “Did,” the attorney corrected. “She died of an overdose.”

  Bob suffered no regret on her account, either. The woman wasn’t fit to be called a mother. From what Merrily had told him, she’d willingly agreed to sell Axel and she’d made no effort to end the abuse.

  “This has to be good news, right?” Bob asked. “For us, I mean. Axel has bonded with Merrily and me. We’re the only family he knows.”

  “It would be good news if Merrily hadn’t stolen the boy.”r />
  “She was protecting him,” Bob cried. Anyone with half a brain would see that she’d taken the only possible course of action. The child was being physically and psychologically abused. Merrily had contacted the authorities and—because of circumstances, perhaps because of her own lack of credibility—that hadn’t resulted in a damn thing. But if she hadn’t taken Axel when she did, there was no telling what would’ve happened to the boy.

  “Now listen,” Doug said, “I know this is going to be difficult, but I want you to trust me.”

  Bob could feel it coming. He sensed it the same way he did an approaching storm.

  Doug Alder waited as if giving Bob time to adjust to what he was about to say. “The state has asked me to hand Axel over to them.”

  “No!” Bob’s response was loud and instantaneous. “No.”

  “Bob, listen, if you and Merrily are going to have a chance at adopting Axel yourselves, you have to do this.”

  “No.”

  Merrily’s eyes had gone wild. She couldn’t hear what was being said, but his reaction told her they were in danger of losing their son.

  “The state will send a social worker to collect Axel. The courts have appointed what’s called a guardian ad litem. That’s generally another attorney whose job is to look after the child’s best interests. Basically, you have a strong case. Axel loves you and Merrily, and if he’s bonded to you, the courts should be willing to consider you as adoptive parents.”

  Buffalo Bob sat down, his knees too weak to hold him upright. “How…long?”

  “How long would Axel be away from you?”

  “Yes.” His voice shook with the depth of his emotion. This shouldn’t be happening. He’d hoped it could all be resolved without Axel’s being taken from them. More than hoped, he’d counted on it.

  “I can’t answer that,” Doug told him quietly. “It could be a matter of weeks, but it might take several months.”

  “Tell me!” Merrily demanded, grabbing Bob’s arm. “They want to take him away, don’t they?”

  He nodded, then gestured for silence.

  “It’s up to you,” Doug told him. “I haven’t given the authorities any information that would lead them to you, but I don’t think continued secrecy is what you want. You wouldn’t have called me if you didn’t want to clean up this mess with Axel, and make everything legal and above-board. You said it yourself. You’re tired of constantly worrying about being found out.”

  “Either we face it now or we face it later.” Bob repeated his own words, although the conviction had gone flat.

  “Exactly.”

  Doug made it sound easy. Made disclosure sound like the only choice they had. If that was the case, then why did his heart feel as though it was being ripped from his chest? If that was the case, why was his wife sobbing at his side?

  “The decision is yours.”

  Bob put down the phone. He looked to Merrily and held open his arms and she came to him. As he held her tight, she stared up at him expectantly, silently begging him not to let them take her baby.

  “We have to hand him over until the adoption can be completed,” he told her.

  Merrily bit down on her lip so hard, blood oozed from between her teeth. “He doesn’t know any mother but me.”

  “He isn’t going to forget us.”

  “But…”

  “We have to do this.”

  Merrily closed her eyes and slowly nodded, sobs shaking her shoulders almost uncontrollably.

  “Tell them where we are,” Bob whispered into the phone. His resolve was stronger now than ever. It wouldn’t be long before they had their son back, before he and Merrily were Axel’s legal parents. The interim, the weeks or months without him, would be hard on them both, but that couldn’t be avoided.

  The state of California scheduled a social worker to pick up Axel two days before Christmas. Doug had tried to talk the authorities into waiting until after the holidays, but his request was denied. Buffalo Bob and Merrily had no choice but to relinquish their son.

  Merrily had barely spoken to Bob in days. On the morning of December twenty-third, she silently, dutifully, packed Axel’s clothes and toys.

  Bob got up early that day, unable to sleep. He found it impossible to stay in one place for long. The flight was supposed to land in Grand Forks at noon, which meant that Beth Graham would arrive between one and two. Maddy McKenna, Hassie and Pastor Dawson arrived at 12:30, hoping to provide comfort and support, but no one seemed to have much to say.

  Bob saw the rental car the minute it pulled into town. “She’s here,” he told Merrily. A few moments later, an older woman walked into the restaurant. She stood at the entrance in her inadequate trench coat, her shoes wet with snow. Despite her obvious discomfort, she had a kind face and her expression was sympathetic.

  At the sight of her, Merrily’s eyes welled with fresh tears. Bob reached for Axel. “How’s my man?” he asked in a choked voice. He held out his palm and Axel slapped his small hand against Bob’s. He laughed and hugged Bob tight around the neck.

  Bob kissed him, then handed him back to Merrily.

  She clung to the boy, sobbing uncontrollably. Axel squirmed in her embrace, not understanding.

  The social worker advanced into the room. “I’m Beth Graham from California C.P.S.,” she said softly. “I’m here for Axel.”

  Bob merely nodded.

  “No…no! God, please don’t take my baby from me! Please!” Merrily screamed as the woman approached.

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Carr.”

  “Somebody, please…Bob, don’t let them do this.” Merrily was crying so hard it was difficult to make out her words.

  “We have to give him up for now,” Bob said as gently as he could. “It’ll only be for a little while.”

  “You promised me it’d never come to this. You promised….”

  “I’m sorry.” Surely she could see this was just as hard for him.

  In the end, Bob was forced to pry Axel away from Merrily’s grasp. Thankfully, the social worker left almost immediately. Merrily ran out of the room, and Bob collapsed in a chair, burying his face in his hands. He felt Pastor Dawson at his side, Maddy and Hassie, too. Through blurry eyes, he squinted at the Christmas decorations in the bar, so at odds with the way he felt.

  Somehow they made it through the evening, and that first night. Bob didn’t sleep and he knew Merrily was awake, too, but they didn’t speak. Their emotions remained raw, confused.

  Come morning, Christmas Eve, the sun woke Bob. He was surprised to discover he’d drifted off, but he didn’t feel he’d gotten any real rest. His heart ached for Axel and for Merrily, who’d placed her trust in him. Difficult as it was, he’d done what he believed to be right.

  Rolling onto his side, he reached for his wife and discovered her side of the bed empty. Thinking she’d decided to sleep in Axel’s bedroom, he went to look for her. Merrily wasn’t there, either.

  Nor was she downstairs.

  A sick sensation came over him. Hurrying up the stairs, he ran back to their bedroom. The closet door was half open and he could see at a glance that Merrily’s clothes were gone.

  His wife had done what she always did. She’d run away.

  Rage filled him, and with a wild shout Bob plowed his hand into the wall. His fist slammed into the plaster and as luck would have it, he hit a stud. The last thing he heard before he crumpled to the floor in pain was the sound of cracking bones.

  Seven

  When Calla arrived in Buffalo Valley on Christmas Eve, she was shocked by how different the town looked after six months away. Christmas lights were strung across Main Street and although it was still daylight, they glowed a festive red and green. The pharmacy windows were painted with a cheery winter scene, and at Maddy’s Grocery the entire parking lot was decorated with strings of glittering rope and blinking lights. Even the new beauty shop and the catalogue store had an inviting display of Christmas joy.

  Never in her life had Calla
seen the town look prettier. She was excited to be back but wasn’t admitting it, at least not out loud. In fact, she’d decided to stay cool and impassive and not let anyone know how she felt about being home.

  “What do you think?” Jessica asked as they pulled onto Main Street. She’d ridden along with Calla’s grandfather to collect her from the Grand Forks airport. Although Calla was curious as to why her mother or Dennis hadn’t come, she wasn’t about to complain. Actually she was so glad to see her friend that nothing could ruin her good mood.

  “The town looks all right,” Calla said noncommittally. In reality she thought it was delightful—like driving through a Christmas card. A fresh snowfall had dusted the road and frosted the buildings, and the nostalgic beauty of the scene brought her close to tears.

  “You aren’t going to get this kind of cozy feel in Minneapolis,” Jessica murmured, wrapping her arm around Calla’s.

  Calla nodded, blinking rapidly.

  Jessica couldn’t possibly have any idea how glad Calla was to be away from the big city. Phoning her mother had been the hardest thing she’d ever done, but she couldn’t tolerate living with her father any longer. She hadn’t asked about moving back home yet, but that was what she hoped would happen. If anything, these months away from Buffalo Valley had taught her the importance of checking out a situation before plunging into it. Had she known what her father was really like, she would never have gone to him, would never have made the mistakes she had.

  The week before she called her mother, Calla had narrowly escaped being arrested. Her father had held another of his infamous parties. Luckily, she’d been on her way to work when the place was raided. Ten minutes earlier and Calla would have been there when the narcotics officers arrived. The worst of it was that her father had taken the money she’d saved from her job to help bail himself out. Every cent was gone. That money had been her freedom fund, her chance to escape.

  Following his arrest, her father had turned ugly. It’d gotten so bad, Calla was ready to swallow her pride and move back to Buffalo Valley. Naturally, she wasn’t telling her mother or Dennis the real truth about Willie; if she did decide to stay, she wanted her mother to be grateful.